Am I too self-centered to have a successful family and marriage?

Is it because I was raised by a single mother or maybe feminism that has left me with severe criticism for just about everything the man does? If I listen to the feminists or the jilted single mothers, man is evil, stupid, and ridiculously tyrannical. Both of these things have played a decisive role in denigrating the family unit for me. Will I ever get it right?

Is my husband insensitive, uncaring, and oblivious? I don’t think so. I think that if I expect him to be a mind-reader I will be left feeling this way. I’ve learned to be direct, obviously subtle hints don’t work.

I make sure I tell my husband whether I want advice, or if I just need him to listen. He thinks he is my savior and gets very frustrated if he can’t fix what’s bothering me (even if it doesn’t need fixing).

We are verbal creatures, which I’ve learned is very frustrating to men, especially mine. I need to carefully choose topics and then it’s all in the timing. When carefully chosen, discussions are effortless and enjoyable.

I try to take what he says at face value. He’s not complicated, yet sometimes he over analyzes.

I need love just as I need air to breathe. Is respect my husband’s air? Is that the blueprint for a happy marriage? Shouldn’t we both treat each other with dignity – we both deserve it.

I think respect means not giving way to anger, or showing disapproval towards him in front of the kids. He inherently believes that this will damage his reputation and thus is a showing of disrespect. (I think)

I know he loves my attention, affection, and affirmation.

So does respect involve paying attention to what he does? Of course it does! Even more importantly, I think respect is allowing him to be different than me..

We both want to be appreciated for the things we do. Respect each other.

I often harp on my husband for the things he hasn’t done. I suppose respecting him would mean admiring him for the things he has done. I should be acknowledging him for being the head of the household and the breadwinner. I should think of him as my hero!

We as parents need to be shining examples. We are supposed to teach our children how to love their spouses and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy yet content and to be kind and helpful.

We as women are given the power of affectionate. We give birth to men and from then on they spend their lives searching for our acceptance and approval..A man is putty in the hands of the woman he loves. Honestly, if I give my husband direct communication, respect, appreciation, good food, and good loving, he will do just about anything I want.

Maybe I should tell him EVERYDAY how much I appreciate him. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.

I know I’m rambling on and on . .  I think I’m trying to convince myself!


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